It was a good day at Target. The aisles were empty of riff-raff shoppers,
the only food my cat will eat was on sale and the lines were short.
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| Island of Misfit Toys |
I’d just finished a three days of a
four day personal development course that I wasn’t sure had been worth the
money.
Instead of being transformed, as
the course had promised, I spent most of the weekend pissed off at all the
whiners who kept getting up to tell their life story.
For the past three days I’d spent
the hours vacillating between a white hot anger about the selfishness of human
beings and heavy guilt about my lack of compassion.
Most of the time, while siting in
that class, I’d felt like a freak.
An odd freak of nature who didn’t
really give a rat’s ass about community or connecting to other people. C’mon, I can’t stand facebook. Sharing every little aspect of one’s personal
life with a bunch of strangers just seems dumb and useless. Plus the more someone knows about you, the
easier it is for them to use that info against you later.
At least that what I thought at the
time.
For about an hour, I’d been walking
around Target looking at the things on sale but not really seeing anything.
My mind was on the class and what
I’d really learned over the weekend. Had I learned anything? I felt broken, somehow. It was as if there was
something integrally wrong with me that I wouldn’t ‘get’ all the earthshattering
revelations everyone else was getting in the class.
I paid for my cat food, kitty
litter, toothpaste, and soap and rolled my cart over the black mat to trigger
the extra wide door to open. Spring was
coming but the last tendrils of winter added a chilly snap to the air.
Walking to my car I spotted the guy
who collects the shopping carts from the parking lot. I admit I didn’t notice the man at
first.
My geek brain had zeroed in on the
little red motorized cart he pushed. It
was like the little train that could, a mechanized caboose to push the linked
up line of ten shopping carts. I thought
the little caboose was cool and wondered how easier it made the man’s job. Only then did I notice him. He was average size. In spite of the caboose, he had to hunch over
and dig his heels into the ground to get the little line of carts going again
after he stopped to add another to the line.
Was that hard work, I wondered.
This took all of ten seconds, my
observation of man and little red caboose.
I passed him and the little train
of shopping carts. Found my car, keyed
the trunk open and started to unload my cart.
Just behind me, I heard someone say, “I’ll take that for you.”
I turned , a little startled. I’d sunk back into brooding so deeply, I’d
not heard the man with train of carts roll up next to me.
I stopped, handed my cart off to
him, looked him in the eye, smiled and said, “Thank you.”
This time it was him who was
startled. He flinched as if I’d stuck
him with a straight pin.
Then his face lit up. He stood up tall.
“You know, people always think I’m
crazy just because I’m doing my job.” He
stood up a little straighter.
“Heck,” I said, “you saving me some
time from having to walk all the way down there to put the cart up. Plus I know you are just doing your job."
He laughed . “Yeah I can never
understand why people are like that.”
“Don’t you pay them any mind, do
your job and get your paycheck.”
His navy jacket dwarfed him a bit.
“I like my job. I just want to come in,
do a good days work and go home.”
“You’re in a good space. That’s how everyone should think but they don’t Look, don’t worry about the negative people,
do what makes you happy.”
We talked for a little while
longer. Not about anything important. Eventually we wished each other well. I got in my bug and he headed back to the Target. Something had struck me odd about the meeting
but I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly.
It wasn’t until I was on the rail
road heading for Manhattan, for the last night of the class, did it hit me.
When I looked that man in the eye
and gave a sincere thank you, his entire had being changed. With two words, and unintentionally I’d
communicated –
Yes, I see you. You matter.
And in that moment, we’d had a powerful
exchange. In a single second, I had
shaped someone else’s in life – if only for a moment. I’d contributed to another human being. And in that same second, he’d given me a gift. That I mattered too. Even something as small as a thank you, had a
huge impact.
We were both beings of incredible
power . . . simultaneously affecting the realm of the other on an integral
level and leaving them better for it.
Wow. Perhaps I wasn’t a freak after all.
I write stories about people and
mythical creatures who are born with great powers. But deep down they ache for a greater
connection and confirmation of their worth, their being.
Luna, in
The Blood Gem, is a freak of nature, she’s a shifter who can’t
shift.
Luna is such an aberration, she’s
stoned and has to flee to avoid causing a civil war.
But through a series of unfortunate events,
Luna begins a journey of self discovery-- of learning who she is, what she stands
for, and finding her rightful niche.
Eventually she discovers a place in
the world that’s been especially retrofitted and waiting for her to arrive.
Isn’t that what we all crave? To be
welcomed into a place that’s been carved out for us – a place where we’re perfect
just as we are?
Without realizing it, we wait for
clues from the Universe (or from God – take your pick) to let us know that our
existence is not an accident – that we have worth – that we are not freaks.
A brief meeting in a Target parking
lot was one of my clues.
I bet clues are all around you
too.
What do you think?
Thanks for reading.
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| Bumble - The Abominable Snow Monster |
